Have you considered the meaning you’ve given your story of the past? Your past has the meaning you give it. It’s just a story. Tell it the way you want it to be!
Now that you’ve done that, consider this – there’s also a story attached to your future. That’s where you can get really creative!
The meaning you give the stories of your past, and of your future, shape your present.
Here‘s a 13-minute video of Ben Hardy diving deeper into these concepts. It’swell worth your time to check it out!
Benjamin Hardy holds a Ph.D. in organizational psychology. He’s also the author of Personality Isn’t Permanent and several other books exploring personality change. He knows what he’s talking about! Here’s an article I wrote in August introducing some of his ideas.
Ben’s introductory comment pretty well sums up the concept.- “Your identity is the story your tell about yourself, and the story you tell about yourself determines your behavior, and it determines your outcomes.”
Your story – who you are now – should be quite different from your story 12 months ago. Your story of your future self (a year, or 3 years out) should be very different from who you are now. One of Ben’s key concepts is that we can decide who our future self is and live as if we are that person now.
One of my favorite Ben Hardy quotes:
If you’re not embarrassed by who you were a year ago, you’re not making enough progress.
People who’ve had traumatic experiences (who hasn’t?) often make their stories about those experiences. If they feel they acted wrongly in those events, they may fold that into their stories, past and present. If they felt victimized, they may live as a victim. They may live into that story so it becomes their future story, as well. All this creates a negative self-view. Unlikely to help them move their lives forward!
What people must understand is, they are not now the person who acted however they acted in the past. They will be a different person in the future than they are now.
A powerful present – what you do and how you do it now – depends on your stories of your past, and of your future. Your past has only the meaning you give it.
Your stories determine WHO you are, and you are the author of your stories.Write them, and tell them, so they serve you. Ben Hardy’s presentation provides the inspiration, and the blueprint, for doing that.