You may remember my coach and mentor Ben Hardy from a recent issue. In case you didn’t see that issue or don’t remember Ben, I’ll repeat my introduction to him:
Benjamin Hardy holds a Ph.D. in organizational psychology. He’s also the author of Personality Isn’t Permanent and several other books exploring personality change. He knows what he’s talking about!
Ben’s book I’m focusing on today is his latest, WHO NOT HOW, which he co-wrote with Dan Sullivan. Interestingly, Sullivan didn’t write a word of it. Ben was Dan’s “Who”, and Dan was Ben’s “Who”.
You’ll come to understand that distinction as we move along in this discussion. If you read the book, you’ll understand it with crystal clarity. I just finished reading the book, and I find it transformational!
Dan Sullivan, the co-author, is the founder and president of The Strategic Coach Inc. A visionary and a gifted conceptual thinker, Dan has over 40 years of experience as a noted speaker, consultant, strategic planner, and coach to entrepreneurial individuals and groups.
Ben says that, without Dan’s support and coaching, the book wouldn’t exist. Dan says that, without Ben’s dedication and writing, the book wouldn’t exist.
The premise of the book is:
- Find the person or group that is uniquely able to help you achieve your goals. Trying to figure it out by yourself is inefficient and ineffective.
- “How” limits you to your own knowledge and capabilities. Who” immediately connects you with different knowledge, insights, and capability.
- “Who” can immediately free up hundreds of hours, which you can spend in better and more meaningful ways.
- Self-expansion is a core human motivation, and it occurs through Whos.
Procrastination, while it can cause immense frustration and loss of ambition, is actually wisdom. Creative procrastination is saying, “This goal is amazing! But I’m not the one to do everything involved!”
Leadership is having a clear vision, delegating its pursuit to the right “Who” and getting out of the way. Your potential is virtually limitless when you stop asking “How?” and start asking “Who?” Asking “Who?” can create results 10X or even 100X faster than asking “How?”
Time Creates Money. You can’t have money freedom until you achieve time freedom. Improving how you spend your time automatically improves your ability to make money. Chapter 6 is titled: “If You Have Enough Money to Solve a Problem, You Don’t Have a Problem.”
Adding a Who to a specific area of your life eliminates decision fatigue in that area. Decision fatigue depletes motivation faster than any other kind of fatigue.
Engaging in Hows to avoid costs actually costs you and your future hugely in the long run.Investing in the right Whos is not a cost, It’s an investment that can create transformational relationships. It can quickly 10X or more your income and revenue.
Be a Good “Who” for Others
When you enter a relationship, first create value in that relationship. Keep creating value and nurturing your relationships. Ask “What’s in it for them?” rather than “What’s in it for me?” Know what the other person cares about. Do your homework!
To have Freedom of Relationship, you must intentionally engage with people who align with your vision. Avoid directly working with people who aren’t relevant. As you say no to people and opportunities that don’t align with your vision of your future self, your confidence will increase. Your team will also become more confident in you as a leader.
Your current self no longer tolerates situations and people that your former self tolerated.Your future self will not tolerate situations or people that you now associate with.
Wherever you see brilliant work happening, there’s collaboration. No one has all the answers. It’s wise to consider yourself ignorant on most things and to seek other people’s perspectives and solutions. Avoid over-obsessing about your part of the project. Get feedback fast! Be radically open and honest in your communication. Ask for help when you need it. Ben says he violated that principle himself when he got sick and faltered during his writing!
Focus on Collaboration, not Competition
Focusing on “How” leads you to being isolated in your goals, and ultimately slows your progress. Being isolated in your goals diminishes your dreams.
Competition stunts creative innovation and limits your future. Collaboration allows you to focus on what you want to focus on and feel good about getting help.
Collaboration improves a project. It becomes better and more impactful than you would have created on your own. By expanding your vision, your Freedom of Purpose also expands.
Expand Your Purpose
Through Whos, important miracles and blessings can happen in your life. You can transform and expand your purpose and life through Whos.
Whos help you see potential in your future, and in your work that you can’t presently see alone. You need another’s insight. Whos expand your vision, giving you the confidence to pursue big goals. Your Whos become your purpose.
If these ideas and principles appeal to you, I recommend you read WHO NOT HOW. In any case, have a wonderful week.