Whatever You Do has a Leadership Lesson in it!

Jim Smith recently caught my eye with his story of “Lessons From The Muck“.

A great curiosity-inducing title!

Jim is self-styled “The Executive Happiness Coach”. In this article, he takes the opportunity to extract a few lessons from a distasteful task. Wading into and clearing out an overgrown swamp.

These lessons apply in business, and in life. For many years I’ve observed people’s behaviors in life and business. The issues one faces in life, and in business, differ in detail. The attitudes and approaches most effective in facing those issues are very similar. What works in life works in business, and vice versa.

In Jim’s article he draws these parallels very effectively. In the intensely unpleasant personal task of clearing out 30 years of flora and fauna grown wild, he sees principles that apply to leadership in business. Here are the lessons he draws from this experience.

  1. You don’t know what you don’t know. Many people approach an unfamiliar situation with their familiar knowledge. New challenges require new learning, new approaches.
  2. Seek to understand, then be understood. You’ll rarely be loved, until you love. Rarely will you have friends until you be a friend. You’ll rarely be understood until you understand. What you put out comes back to you.
  3. Declare and hold a clear focus. Without it you’ll get sidetracked by the forces and obstacles pushing you off course.
  4. Practice self-awareness and emotional self-management. It’s important to think critically about how to react to situations, rather than leave it to your emotions.
  5. Continually stretch into discomfort. You make real progress and grow only when you’re working beyond your “comfort zone”.
  6. YOU are a never-ending project. Always finding ways to improve is critical to real success and growth.

These concepts are all important to good performance and progress. I recommend you read Jim’s article to understand the nuances of his approach vs. mine, and to get the benefit of his humorous approach to his story.

Thanks to all Those Who’ve Commented!

During the past several days I’ve received 100’s of comments on my articles. This is a sudden increase and I’m not sure of the reason why, but I’m very grateful.

Many have been very complimentary. Several have offered suggestions for improving my work, like using more pictures and videos. While I don’t have time to answer you all individually, I appreciate every one of those comments, with the exception noted below. I thank you for them.

Several of the comments requested advice on blogging or other aspects of writing. I’ll comment generally with the following resources:

  • Go Daddy is a great place to get started with a website for very little cost.
  • American Writers and Artists Institute offers great training and other resources for all kinds of writing.
  • Having trouble with punctuation, spelling and syntax? Paste your text into Fletcher-Kincaid. You can set up a single user account for peanuts. They’ll help you identify things that could embarrass you later!
  • For those asking about other relevant material to read, many of my articles contain links to other writers who have useful ideas. Check ’em out!
  • If you’d like to be a subscriber (free) and ensure you get my articles when I write them, send me the email address where you want me to send it, or go to http://bit.ly/37PCOM9 and enter your information.
  • You’re always welcome to link to my posts in your own writing. Please do not copy and paste excerpts – that’s plagiarism, and not appreciated.
  • If you’d like to submit something for me to include in a future article, please send it along. If I use it, I promise I’ll give you credit for it when I use it.
  • Some of you have asked about help with SEO. Yoast offers training on SEO and a tool that scans your posts and other work to advise you of issues you can correct to improve your site’s visibility to search engines.

One other thing I should mention – if your comment is a sales pitch or promotion unrelated to the article where you’re posting the comment, I’ll leave it unapproved. Don’t bother posting those messages.

If you have other thoughts or comments, feel free to email me or schedule a phone call.

Thanks again to all who are contributing to this site. I appreciate you.

Think about What You Want!

Again in this article, we’ll touch on mental attitude. If some of you find these mindset messages are more frequent than you prefer, I apologize. It seems to me one can’t be reminded too often to stay focused on what you can do to make your life better. In times like these it’s doubly important. There’s a lot of negative conversation out there. Ignore it.

That means it’s important to avoid focusing on negative things. Avoiding negative focus means avoiding the mainstream news. Your mind can accommodate negative, or positive, but not both at the same time. I recommend you stay informed with a news source that reports facts. It should avoid pictures and language designed to anger or scare you. I get a two-page summary of the news every morning from the Wall Street Journal. It pretty well follows these guidelines. There are links to every article in the day’s issue. The full articles can be inflammatory. However, the one- or two-line descriptions give a pretty good idea what’s happening without over-hyping it.

The TV network news programs are designed to sell juicy stories, rather than to inform. I recommend skipping them altogether.

One of Zig Ziglar’s well-known reminders is (paraphrased): Inspiration is like bathing. It should be renewed daily.

Today’s link takes us to another episode of Eric Lofholm’s daily inspirational conference call. Bailey Cooper guest-hosts this one. It discusses one of Napoleon Hill’s success principles, keeping a positive mental attitude.

Napoleon Hill wrote Think and Grow Rich in the 1930s, during the Great Depression. He studied the habits of many of the great business minds of the time. Henry Ford and Andrew Carnegie are there, along with many others. He condensed their practices into 17 success principles. Keeping a positive mental attitude is one of them. Hill’s great book is on every business success oriented reading list I remember seeing. It’s still available on Amazon.

Eric Lofholm’s daily inspirational call happens at 7:45 AM, Pacific time. Every episode is recorded and posted here. This page also has instructions for joining the call by various methods.

That’s enough from me. Enjoy, and learn from, Napoleon Hill’s success principles. I hope you find Eric Lofholm’s inspiration beneficial as well. Here’s the link again to the episode I refer to in this message.

How do You Feel, Facing a New Challenge?

Do you delight in heaping praise on your kids for how smart they are? Or how talented?

If you solve a puzzle, do you look for a tougher challenge, a more difficult puzzle?

Do you believe your, or someone else’s, personality is what you, or they, were born with? This was our topic a couple of weeks ago.

Have you noticed athletes whose mistakes crush them? Who can’t get “back in the game” quickly?

Recently I was introduced to the book, Mindset – The New Psychology of Success, by Carol S. Dweck.

Dweck’s premise is that some people have “fixed” mindsets. Others have “growth” mindsets. Which are you? In reality, most people have a mix, but lean mostly one way or the other. We’re likely to have one mindset sometimes, and the other one other times.

As a primary school teacher, and a tireless researcher, Dweck has studied these differences most of her life.

When you hear statements like:

  • I’m no good with technology
  • I can’t learn French, or Spanish
  • I can’t drive a car with a manual transmission

You’re hearing the result of a fixed mindset, one that believes they have, or don’t have, a certain talent.

When you hear:

  • With some research, and maybe a class, I’ll figure out technology to the extent that I need it.
  • I’m anxious to dig into a language that will be useful, or interesting, to me.
  • Can you help me learn to drive a car with a clutch?

You’re hearing someone with a growth mindset.

The good news is, you’re not “stuck” with one or the other. Dweck reports that her own mindset has evolved from fixed in her childhood to growth as she matured. And of course as she studied mindsets.

In grasping these ideas it’s important to first understand the basics. You’ll need a solid understanding of some terms she uses, and her fundamental concept. After you’ve accomplished that, a couple of chapters stand out for me. These chapters highlight situations where the concepts are easy to see in action.

  • In chapter 3 she discusses the importance of a growth mindset in parents and teachers of young children. Kids, with their young absorptive minds, take signals from what adults say to them. If they’re scolded when they make a mistake, they learn quickly not to make mistakes. Of course this means, “don’t take on anything too difficult”. What if they’re praised for their talents – how easily they did something? They learn that quick performance is better than working hard to learn something difficult.
  • In chapter 7, we learn the results of the two mindsets in coaches of sports teams. She describes three well-known college basketball coaches, All had moments of success.
    • Bobby Knight of the Indiana Hoosiers won a lot of championships. His success was sporadic.
    • John Wooden led the UCLA Bruins from a 3rd-rate status to 10 championships in 12 years. He was arguably the “winningest” NCAA coach ever.
    • Pat Summitt coached the Tennessee Lady Vols. She started with a Bobby Knight (explosive, inconsistent) style. She evolved into recognizing losses as learning opportunities.
  • I’m sure you can see, even without reading more detail, where the fixed and growth mindsets were.
  • In chapter 7 she also discusses “false” growth mindsets. She covers a couple of misunderstandings about what is a growth mindset.

I leave you with that much introduction and summary of Carol Dweck’s great work. For me it’s a unique examination of the ingredients of real success. I hope you find it equally compelling.

What do You Hate in Others’ Behaviors?



Recently I connected with John Patrick Morgan through an introduction from another coach I work with. He actually goes by JP Morgan. JP sings to quite a different drummer than the storied banker of the same name. Related? I don’t know.

JP has some wonderful insights into life and what make us human beings what we are. Today I focus on a recent essay where he suggests we hate in ourselves the same traits we dislike in others.

Do you have a friend, or a spouse, that talks too much? Talks too little? Tells stories badly? If these things trouble you in that person, take a careful look. You probably dislike that in yourself. Or you fear the possibility that you might exhibit the same behavior.

Over the past several years I’ve noted this often. When I see that I may be guilty of what I object to in others, I work to avoid that behavior myself. Then it troubles me much less in others than it did. This often happens even if I’m not totally successful in eliminating the tendency myself. Just facing the issue head-on makes it less scary.

JP takes this concept one step further. He recommends actually striving to become the behavior you object to. It’s freeing! In the 9-minute video attached to the article, he describes behaviors that he hated in his wife. When he embraced the behaviors, the concern became a non-issue for him.

This is something I’ll have to experiment with. Likely you will too. Counter-intuitive as this idea is, it makes kind of perverse sense to try it out. Your distaste for something often goes away when you embrace it.

So give it a try! Next time someone does something that bugs you, think about it and try out JP’s approach. Obviously (I think) I would not recommend this for dishonest or belligerent behavior!

Who are You? Who Will You Become?

Personality Traits, and Traits of those Traits


This week, I listened to a fascinating interview with Dr. Benjamin Hardy. Dr. Hardy is launching his new book, Personality isn’t Permanent: Break Free from Self-Limiting Beliefs and  Rewrite Your Story. Tibor Nagy of Mindset Horizon conducted the interview. I’ve worked extensively with Ben through his AMP (Accelerated Momentum Program) project. I find his ideas very valuable.

The interview podcast is about 50 minutes long. Many of you will want to skip through it to get some key points. Here I note some times in the interview which will help you do that. The text below the podcast banner lists links to Hardy’s and other books mentioned.

3:10 – Nagy begins his introduction of Dr. Hardy

10:45 – Ben begins describing the ideas that inspired his first book Will Power Doesn’t Work.

13:40 – Ben and Tibor begin a discussion of how one’s identity is built. What factors affect one’s identity – how one identifies as an entrepreneur.

15:30 – Ben starts explaining that your personality continually evolves. You’re a different person from who you were a year ago, 10 years ago, etc. You will be a different person at any point in the future from who you are now. You can learn to design your future self.

20:00 – Ben begins to discuss journaling and how it can help you design your future self. Over the years I’ve started journaling several times, and never stayed with it. I think that’s because I didn’t know how to do it properly, nor solid reasons for doing it. Now, Ben has helped me see those methods and reasons. I would sorely miss journaling if I stopped now, after several months of regular journaling.

23:30 – Ben mentions a Harvard psychologist, Daniel Gilbert, who did a great 6-minute TED talk. He says people spend too much time thinking about their past, too little time imagining their future. They may agree that human beings are works in progress. However, they often believe they themselves are “finished”.

25:15 – Nagy asks Ben to talk about his objections to personality profiling tests. Ben discusses research showing that the tests don’t produce an accurate result. He considers them “junk science”. Also, why they lead to a fixed mindset – a belief in a personality “cast in stone”. With these beliefs, many people live mediocre lives.

36:20 – The two begin to discuss distinctions around “fixed” vs. “growth” mindsets.

44:00 – They talk briefly about confidence, what it is, why it matters, and what affects it.


The question all this brings up for me is: You’re going to evolve with time. Would you rather let it happen by chance, or design it?!

Are You a Problem Solver?

In this article, I turn again to Dennis Hooper. You may remember him from a few months ago. His topic then was how to choose a coach.Dennis has experience in large organizations and in small ones. He loves helping people work together in harmony. 

Dennis recently caught my eye with this article on the subject of giving advice. His point is, whatever value you see in your advice, it’s important to be careful where you offer it. Be sure it’s welcome. If you’re not sure, ask. He suggests some language for how to ask.

Just in the past week, I saw a chance to “help” someone through a social situation. Another friend suggested I think about how my help would be received. I decided against it because I wasn’t sure if my suggestions would be welcome.  If they aren’t they won’t help. In the coming days or weeks, perhaps I’ll see an opportunity to ask about that.

This situation planted the seed that grew into this issue of The Unity Community. Dennis’ article added impetus to the idea.

This newsletter offers advice and suggestions nearly every week. You have all implicitly invited my advice by subscribing to the letter. If you prefer not to receive my advice, please feel free to click the “unsubscribe” link at the bottom of this message. Every week, one or two people do that. It doesn’t trouble me at all. What I offer isn’t for everyone. I’m interested in being helpful and supportive, to those who want help.

In his message, Dennis offers Tony Alessandra’s “platinum rule”, an embellishment of the “golden rule”. The golden rule says “Treat others as you would like to be treated”. The platinum rule changes one word in that: “Treat others as they would like to be treated”. Of course sometimes you don’t know exactly how they’d like to be treated. It’s safer to ask than to assume your input is welcome.

In a recent effort to better define my personal mission, I arrived, after some thought, at:

“I make a positive contribution to every transaction and relationship I participate in.”

In pursuit of that mission, I had arrived at the platinum rule myself, though I didn’t so name it. I think “platinum rule” is an excellent name, and I thank Tony for coining it, and Dennis for offering the rule as guidance.

Think carefully about where you share suggestions and advice. However helpful you think an idea to be, it may be unwelcome to someone else. You won’t be helping if you make them feel inadequate. You won’t improve anything if they see you as invading their privacy. As helpful as you may think you are, offering advice where it’s unwelcome won’t help anyone. It may damage or even destroy a relationship.

Enjoy Dennis’ advice here, if you’re open to it.

Entrepreneur? Or Just Another Business Person?

(Published in The Unity Community newsletter in January 2019)


Norm Brodsky
, who writes a regular column in Inc. magazine, has a very interesting story for us for this issue

He and his wife stopped by a store where Linda Pagan manufactures and sells ladies’ hats. 

Linda makes some very broad-brimmed hats that many people like for outdoor events. Since she includes boxes with all her hats, she needs larger than normal boxes for these hats. 

She took the “bull by the horns” and helped her box supplier develop the capacity  to produce these outsized boxes. The supplier hadn’t identified the market for such hat boxes. She did, and stepped up to make it happen, with benefit to herself and other marketers, the box supplier, and the customers.

This is the way business should be done – win-win-win! It’s how a market economy generates wealth. 

Through cooperative effort, everybody benefits. Linda, the box supplier and other milliners earn a profit by selling their wares for more than it costs to make them. The customers get the hats worth more to them than the money they pay for them.

So here’s the difference between an entrepreneur and another business person. Many people start a “business” which is really just a job for them. They don’t answer to a boss per se (except their customer), but they’re selling what others sell, with few if any unique features.

Those who identify and fill a gap, or space for a product or service that nobody is offering, are entrepreneurs. Others compete with existing suppliers without offering anything new. They must compete on price, delivery time, or other mundane features of their product or service. They have much more competition than the entrepreneur does.

Enjoy Norm’s story about entrepreneur Linda Pagan. This insight may be useful to better understand and explain the difference between entrepreneurs and other business people.

What Makes Experience a Better Teacher?

We’ve talked a lot about mindset in the last several issues of this letter. I’m sure some among you think all this mindset talk is “woo-woo” pointless chatter. 

“Just get on with the program!” you may say. I assure you, there’s abundant science supporting the idea that mindset affects performance. It also affects life satisfaction and happiness.

Effective “getting on with the program” requires a positive mindset. Are you working with an abundance, rather than scarcity, mindset? Focusing on solutions, rather than problems? If so, you’re in the most effective mindset. If you’re focusing on scarcity and problems, you’re not as effective as you may think! For sure, not as effective as you could be.

A few mindset-related concepts this week:

  • Reflection makes the most of experience.
  • Worry does nothing to fix what you’re worrying about. We have a quick recipe for dispelling worry.
  • Happy positive people are happy whether they’re materially wealthy or not.

Here’s Karyn Danielle on the topic of reflection. She begins by citing this quote:

We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on our experience.” – John Dewey

Careful reflection can bring to light: 

  • What went well. 
  • What we can improve upon. 
  • Where life worked against us despite our best effort. 
    • Celebrate that effort, even if the outcome was less desirable than you hoped for. You gave it your best shot!

Karyn expands on that idea – all part of the concept of a positive mindset. 

Worry detracts from performance. Worry is nothing more or less than negative expectations. It’s a negative mindset. If you find yourself worrying about something:

  • Explore what you can do about it. Then do it – take positive steps.
  • If there’s nothing you can do about it, decide to accept the outcome, whatever it is.
    • Be on the lookout for anything you can do to mitigate its effect on you. Do that thing.
    • Then stop worrying.
    • Get on with the things you can do in the rest of your life.

The scare about the coronavirus is a perfect situation for practicing this.

There are many negative people who make lots of money or show other signs of success. Usually their “success” is short-lived, and they lead unhappy lives. 

Annette Bau has studied happy people enjoying life and those who fight it. Each category includes some who have money. And others who struggle financially. In 30 years of study, she’s found it’s all about mindset! Money, or other trappings of “success”, don’t make unhappy people happy. They just result in unhappy people with lots of stuff!

Focus on things you can control – especially your mind!

Need some Inspiration? Who Can You Count on?

Rounding out the month of March 2020, which turned into a “Mindset Month”, Mary Lynn Ziemer has this for us.

It’s a great reminder of the value of celebrating your wins, however small they seem. A genuine compliment from a friend may be more uplifting than closing a big sale! Reminding yourself of that compliment, and other “wins” in your life, makes you your biggest fan. And your greatest friend. Good company to have!

March began with business in full swing and the coronavirus mostly concentrated in China and Italy. Life in the Americas seemed pretty “normal”. Then the virus spread worldwide and governments took action. (Whatever your opinion of their actions, it happened, and we all live with the effect). Seemingly all hell broke loose. 

Heading into April it looks like more of the same for at least a few more weeks.

While all this is going on, the press is, as always, fanning the flames. It’s important for each of us to stay focused. There are things in our lives we can still control, most importantly our mindset. To keep our mindset positive, we sometimes need a source of inspiration.

Who better to count on than our own selves for that inspiration?

Mary Lynn offers wonderful advice for how to provide that self-inspiration. Her main suggestion? When you’re faced with a situation you’d prefer to be different, first, STOP! Give yourself a little break. Recognize what, if any, role you have in the situation. If you can correct your role to improve the outcome, do it. If you truly have no role, think carefully about what you can do to turn the effect positive for you. When you’re dealt lemons, make lemonade. Consider how to avoid negative effects as much as possible. 

In poker, any hand can win! Play the hand you’re dealt. Every hand has something that can make it a winner, if you play it right.

Among other things, stay informed. Follow the most factual, least emotional, sources you can find. When you have the information you need, turn off the news. The hoopla can only make you negative and crazy.

While you’re thinking about the next useful steps for you to take, do it with a positive mindset. You’ll think much more clearly with that positivity. To make your mindset positive – to be the best version of yourself – remember and celebrate your wins. Be your own cheerleader!Make a list of people and things you’re grateful for. Refer to it often. Update it often.

You have greatness inside of you – remind yourself of that and bring it out!