How Do You Start Your Day?

If you follow any self-help advice, you’ve surely found lots of suggestions for morning routines.

How you start your day has a huge effect on how you feel for the entire day. And how productive you are. 

Ideally for most people, preparation for this morning began last night!

Much of what’s been said about morning routines would have you believe everyone should follow a fixed set of rules. I may have even been a little guilty of that myself.

As with most things in life, one size doesn’t fit all. Read on for some unique approaches to starting one’s day. Maybe one of them resonates with you. I think the most important thing is that you have a morning routine. Waking up wondering what you should do first seldom works out well.

Read on for some unique morning routines.

Katie E. Lawrence owns Masterpieces in Progress and is studying Human Sciences at Auburn University. She’s identified six unique morning routines that fly in the face of conventional wisdom from many coaches.

Ed Catmull reads the news over breakfast. I do too, but my breakfast is after 2-3 hours of work and an exercise routine. In his case it’s first thing in the morning. Most coaches recommend no early morning input other than pure inspirational stuff. Apparently it works for him.

Oprah Winfrey spends much more time and energy on spiritual input than many. For her that’s extremely important and beneficial. I too find a spiritual connection very important, though I’m not religious, and have a little more varied approach to mornings.

Mark Cuban reads email as part of his jumping right into business when he wakes up. Very unusual, and again quite different from most recommendations. Works for him!

Mark Sisson reads and works crossword puzzles! Crossword puzzles and reading are very important for me too. I do most tf that sort of thing in the evening. Crossword puzzles are pure recreation for me, though I’m sure there’s some value in the mental exercise.

Most of these routines are quite different from what most coaches would prescribe as ideal. Perhaps one of these ideas resonates with you. Or perhaps you follow convention more. Whatever gives you an energy boost so you can start work with enthusiasm, intention and commitment is what you should do.

The only advice I’ve never heard of is to get up and wonder “What should I do first?”

Note: Archived issues of The Unity Community are available here. Search that page for keywords representing your particular interest. Most of the articles offer suggestions for ways of improving business and personal relationships. Keep in mind that business is done by…people. Every business concern is essentially an inter-personal concern. 

A “Shot in the Arm” Every Day!

My friend, mentor and sales coach, Eric Lofholm, hosts a 15-minute motivational call every business day and a few holidays. The call is at 7:45 AM Pacific time. Register for the call here. You’ll find instructions on how to join the call on Facebook, Zoom, by phone, or later in a recording. 

Let’s Talk!

What’s your scheme for getting started in the morning? Conventional, or not so much? Want to talk about it? Reply to this message or click here if you’d like to chat on the phone.

Do you like The Unity Community?

Do you find value in the articles?

What’s good about it?

What would make it even more valuable for you? 

Suggestions for topics in future issues? Do you have something you’d like to contribute? It can be your work…or someone else’s. I’ll give you and the author ample credit for your contribution if I use it.

Your thoughts, suggestions and comments are always welcome. Reply to this message, or go here if you’d like to chat on the phone or Zoom. 

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Want to Do More Business?

Suppose you went to a networking event and were amazed to find all your ideal prospects waiting to talk with you.

Our Business Accelerator Platform can give you this kind of exposure to your market – the people you want to help!

We find your ideal client prospects and start conversations with them. Then we communicate your value and get them to schedule appointments with you…all on autopilot. This can happen for you! Learn how here.  

When you join Smart Money Network’s Business Accelerator Platform, we:

  • Optimize your LinkedIn Profile Page so it better attracts people in your market. 

(Hint: What painful issue do you resolve for your clients? If your LinkedIn profile describes how you make your clients’ lives better, it’s rare! Most describe the merchant’s qualifications and expertise. They say little about what he/she does to eliminate clients’ pain.)

  • Search LinkedIn’s 740 million members for the few thousand who match your ideal client profile. You define your best prospect for us. Then we go find them.

(Even if you can find these people manually, it will take hours away from your work with your current clients.)

  • Invite about 100 of these best prospects every week to connect with you on LinkedIn.
  • Send a welcome message to those who accept your invitation and connect.

(Typically 15% or more. Currently, over 25% of those I invite are connecting!)

  • Deliver something of value to them from you, and then do it again! 
  • Begin a “drip campaign” of carefully timed messages, providing more value. These messages give…give… give…and then ask. No pitches!

All of these messages come from you personally. We want and expect your input in developing them…unless you want us to just do it. You can follow the threads and adjust your messages as you see better ways to engage your prospects. We’re always ready to talk with you about improving your messaging.

See a “hot” prospect you want to engage with your unique message? Take over the exchange manually!

Click here to learn how you can put this program to work for YOU!

Would You Like to Publish a Newsletter Like This One?

Unity Copywriting can help you with newsletters or other materials to engage your prospects and clients. We help you stay top of their minds.  Let’s discuss how these materials can help you with your marketing!

Should You Tell People About Your Goals?

This week we again visit Dr. Benjamin Hardy, discussing how to make your goals more compelling for you.

Tell people about them! Not to encourage their comments, but to inspire you to strive harder to achieve them.

In keeping with his advice, mine are listed in this article.

Benjamin Hardy holds a Ph.D. in organizational psychology. He’s also the author of Personality Isn’t Permanent and several other books exploring personality evolution. He knows what he’s talking about!

Ben makes a strong case for advertising your goals to your network for your own encouragement. It’ll make their pursuit more compelling for you, since it’s human nature to want our actions to align with our words. 

Always remember that others’ opinions of your goals are unimportant to you. That is, unless they come from a coach whose help you’re seeking.

Recently, as I’ve become a little more forthcoming with my goals, I’ve shared some of them with people close to me. 

After listening to Ben Hardy’s exhortation, I believe sharing my goals with all of you could be life-changing for me. I beg your indulgence while I devote this issue to my own self-improvement.

Here are my goals. I read them aloud every night before I go to bed, and rewrite first thing every morning. (Actually, the fourth thing, after a cold shower, 20 oz. water for dehydration, and some wake-up stretches.) The point is I do this before starting the day’s business activities. 

You may find this list interesting, or not. Perhaps the list can offer you a useful pattern, if you haven’t been habitually listing your goals.

My guiding mission: 

To contribute positively to every transaction and relationship I participate in. 

My keystone goal (the one that enables most of the others): 

I earn/receive $20,000/+/month and, by the end of 2021, I accumulate 100 oz. gold/+, with ease. In my life, I accumulate net worth of $5MM/+ w/ease.

In addition, by the end of 2021:

  1. I establish a positive, loving relationship with my daughter Tara, with ease.
  2. I pay off CC debt, with ease.
  3. I write regularly for 3/+ clients, with ease.
  4. I weigh 190#/-, with ease.
  5. I play golf to a  handicap of 15/-, with ease.
  6. I support the LEC* HOA Board in reducing dues to $150/-/month, with ease.
  7. I entertain 1/+ groups of family and friends in LEC*, with ease.

LEC*: La Estancia de Cafayate. The lovely community in northwest Argentina where I make my home.

My 3-year vivid vision:

I’m debt-free!

I live comfortably in my own home, where I easily entertain my family and friends, including my visitors who come to check out my delightful life in Argentina.

When the mood strikes, I explore the local area in my truck. When I want to travel further, I fly to the destination I choose, often with family and friends.

My writing is more enjoyable than ever, since I’m fulfilling the needs of my clients and partners, who pay me well.

I invest a portion of my wealth in assets which offer me security against a financial collapse, additional income, and value to pass along to my heirs.

It’s my hope that this message inspires you to be more intentional about your goal setting and achievement efforts.

Note: Archived issues of The Unity Community are available here. You can search that page for keywords representing your particular interest. Most of the articles offer suggestions for ways of improving business and personal relationships. Keep in mind that business is done by…people. Every business concern is essentially an inter-personal concern. 

A “Shot in the Arm” Every Day!

My friend, mentor and sales coach, Eric Lofholm, hosts a 15-minute motivational call every business day and a few holidays. The call is at 7:45 AM Pacific time. Register for the call here. You’ll find instructions on how to join the call on Facebook, Zoom, by phone, or later in a recording. 

Let’s Talk!

Have you defined goals for your life and business? Are they written? Do you revisit them, write them and recite them every day? What do you think of Ben Hardy’s “future self” ideas? This is one of my favorite topics. Reply to this message or click here if you’d like to chat on the phone.

Do you like The Unity Community?

Do you find value in the articles?

What’s good about it?

What would make it even more valuable for you? 

Suggestions for topics in future issues? Do you have something you’d like to contribute? It can be your work…or someone else’s. I’ll give you and the author ample credit for your contribution if I use it.

Your thoughts, suggestions and comments are always welcome. Reply to this message, or go here if you’d like to chat on the phone or Zoom. 

Get too Much Email?

Today’s issue is going to all my subscribers. If you’re among my monthly subscribers, you’ll receive your next issue on August 2, 2021.

If the monthly schedule suits you better, just reply to this message with the word “MONTHLY” in the message or subject line. If you elect that option, you can still check out the weekly issues at your convenience here. Since your last monthly issue, we’ve discussed:

What’s the Best Investment You Can Make? – Published 28 June 2021.
Do Less To Accomplish More! – Published 21 June 2021
Vulnerability = The Greatest Courage! – Published 14 June 2021

Want to Do More Business?

Suppose you went to a networking event and were amazed to find all your ideal prospects waiting to talk with you.

Our Business Accelerator Platform can give you this kind of exposure to your market – the people you want to help!

We find your ideal client prospects and start conversations with them. Then we communicate your value and get them to schedule appointments with you…all on autopilot. This can happen for you! Learn how here.  

When you join Smart Money Network’s Business Accelerator Platform, we:

  • Optimize your LinkedIn Profile Page so it better attracts people in your market. 

(Hint: What painful issue do you resolve for your clients? If your LinkedIn profile describes how you make your clients’ lives better, it’s rare! Most describe the merchant’s qualifications and expertise. They say little about what he/she does to eliminate clients’ pain.)

  • Search LinkedIn’s 740 million members for the few thousand who match your ideal client profile. You define your best prospect for us. Then we go find them.

(Even if you can find these people manually, it will take hours away from your work with your current clients.)

  • Invite about 100 of these best prospects every week to connect with you on LinkedIn.
  • Send a welcome message to those who accept your invitation and connect.

(Typically 15% or more. Currently, over 25% of those I invite are connecting!)

  • Deliver something of value to them from you, and then do it again! 
  • Begin a “drip campaign” of carefully timed messages, providing more value. These messages give…give… give…and then ask. No pitches!

All of these messages come from you personally. We want and expect your input in developing them…unless you want us to just do it. You can follow the threads and adjust your messages as you see better ways to engage your prospects. We’re always ready to talk with you about improving your messaging.

See a “hot” prospect you want to engage with your unique message? Take over the exchange manually!

Click here to learn how you can put this program to work for YOU!

Would You Like to Publish a Newsletter 

Like This One?

Unity Copywriting can help you with newsletters or other materials to engage your prospects and clients. We help you stay top of their minds.  Let’s discuss how these materials can help you with your marketing!

What’s the Best Investment You Can Make?

Want to have a better life? Who doesn’t? Maybe a masochist, but most of us strive to improve our lives. I hope you’re among those who do.

The pastimes that occupy many people’s leisure time, and probably some of their ideally productive time, produce nothing more than momentary highs or, when the communication is negative, lows. Unfortunately, the lows probably last longer than the highs! Most of the “relationships” people pursue on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are fleeting and meaningless.

Read on to discover a better way, and the best investment you can make in your future!

Jason Gutierrez has some great ideas for making life better. They all have elements of doing enjoyable things. However, none of them are about spending time doing the things many people do for “enjoyment.”

What’s the most important relationship you can build? The relationship with yourself! When you’ve accomplished that, pursue relationships with those you can collaborate with to mutual benefit.

Searching for the latter of these without the intimate knowledge of who you are will almost surely be futile. Even if you stumble on the right collaborations, you’re likely not to recognize them.Enough words from me! I suggest you check out Jason’s article, where he laments reaching his thirties before discovering the truths he reveals. Many of us can rejoice in learning them much later in life. They have great value whenever you discover them. I hope you find them when you’re 18 years old, or even younger. If you discover them when you’re 70, 80, 90, or 100, great – they’ll improve the rest of your life!

Do Less To Accomplish More!

Want to improve your self-esteem? What better way to do that than to feel productive?

When you feel like you’re accomplishing something valuable, you feel worthy. When you feel worthy, you’re inspired to create more worth.

A true sense of self-worth comes from how valuable you feel. Not what someone else thinks of you. Not how cool or stylish you look. Solely by your own judgment, you must believe you’re adding value. It could be to your own life. Perhaps to a friend’s or a client’s life. Or maybe in a worthy cause. The key is: It must be your personal judgment, unclouded by someone else’s opinion of you.

Read on for a good recipe to generate that feeling of accomplishment.

Hint: It’s not about doing more. Do less!

Photo by STIL on Unsplash

Here’s Anthony Yeung with some excellent tips on how to accomplish more in a few hours than most people do in several days.

A quick summary of Anthony’s recommendations:

  • Skip the time-wasters, especially first thing in the morning. Incoming messages are just allowing someone else to control your time. Also, eliminate notifications.
  • Stay focused on important tasks early in the day. He quotes Abraham Lincoln: “If I had 8 hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first 6 of them sharpening my axe.”
  • Create bite-sized tasks. Break down big projects into small steps.
  • Prioritize! Then prioritize the priorities!
  • Set time limits to give yourself a sense of urgency.
  • Set a timer. When if rings take a short break, then repeat this process.
  • Batch your tasks to work most efficiently,
  • If you listen to music while you work, keep replaying one song. Anthony explains why.
  • If you like what you’re doing, you’ll be much more productive. “Farm out,” or otherwise eliminate the things you don’t enjoy doing.

This is a quick summary of a long-ish article. It’s worth reading. Or at least skimming for the ideas that resonate with you. Anthony “fleshes them out.”

Vulnerability = The Greatest Courage!

Long-time followers of my writing know that I consider relationships the key to life.

The next question is “What’s the key to relationships?” Author Brené Brown recently added to her string of books on vulnerability with the book we focus on today. Read on for the link to the book, and see how solid relationships require vulnerability.

____________________________________________________________

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; …who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” 

– Quote from Theodore Roosevelt

______________________________________________________________

Many people consider vulnerability to be a sign of weakness. As Teddy Roosevelt tells us in the quotation cited above, it’s anything but! In fact, making yourself vulnerable is perhaps the greatest indication of courage.

Certainly, vulnerability can be at the root of much heartache – fear, grief, disappointment, etc. However, it is also the source of love, belonging, joy, creativity, and other signs of a happy, well-grounded person. Brené Brown has written several books about vulnerability. Her latest is titled Daring Greatly.

Brown examines vulnerability as it relates to parenting, work relationships, and interactions among people on the street and in life. She comments that people often lament the sorry state of customer service. She laments the sorry state of customer behavior!

We’ve all seen the restaurant patron who violently berates a waitress because her steak was not cooked to her liking. Or the guy at the airline counter railing at the agent because he can’t get the seat he wants. And worse, all this is done with no eye contact.

Brown writes, “When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.” Watch a group of, usually young, people sitting in a social situation. More than half of them are likely on their phones, paying no attention whatever to the live friends sitting next to them. While I made this comment about young people, more mature people can certainly be guilty of this as well.

One of her great observations is that a sense of sufficiency, rather than abundance, is the antidote to a scarcity mindset. Even though we strive to improve and do more busness, we must see that where we are is enough for now.

So, if you want more joy and happiness in your life, and better relationships with everyone: 

Step up! 

Dare greatly! 

Be vulnerable!

Read Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly!

Be A Leader, Not A Manager!

A leader doesn’t tell people what to do! Does that strike you as a contradiction? Read on.

In these letters, we’ve often examined aspects of what constitutes genuine leadership. Recently I listened to one of the best in-depth looks at this issue I’ve come across.

We’ll learn that the leader’s job is to provide the vision and why that vision is powerful, and what success looks like. Then he or she must get out of the way and let people do their jobs.

People may come back with questions. Of course, those questions must be answered. If they need support, emotionally or functionally, it’s the leader’s job is to provide that. The point though is that the leader doesn’t manage. The leader empowers people to do their work in a supportive environment.

Here’s Ben Hardy, one of my favorite sources for inspiration and great unique ideas, discussing truly great leadership. The idea of leading without managing is one of the cornerstones of modern leadership theory. Sadly, it gets more lip service than true adherence.

Useful background for what I’m about to offer can be found in my several-weeks-ago issue. There we discussed Ben Hardy/Dan Sullivan’s book, Who Not How. Ben refers to it often in today’s video.

Benjamin Hardy holds a Ph.D. in organizational psychology. He’s also the author of Personality Isn’t Permanent and several other books exploring personality change. He knows what he’s talking about!

The three things people need to do their jobs are:

  • Competence to do the work, and confidence in their competence.
  • Autonomy – the authority to apply their skills. They must be in control of how they do their jobs.
  • Connectedness – Being connected with team members is highly empowering.

One who takes any of this away is disempowering the worker and stripping them of the important elements they need to carry on effectively. The person guilty of this is trying to be a manager, and is not a leader. “Managing” people is an inefficient way of trying to get anything done. It usually results in the loss of the best talent, and the remaining people are unmotivated.

Ben discusses three stages of human development, a Robert Keegan model. I’ll briefly describe them here. He does a much better job of imparting a full understanding of them than I can do here in a few words,

  • Dependence – The socializing self – taking all sense of identity and direction from others.
  • Independence – Self-authorship – having one’s own goals and pursuing them without relationship with others. The only relationships an independent person engages in are those he or she believes will further his or her goals.
  • Self-transforming stage – two or more people share goals and solutions, neither imposing views on the other, but sharing views to result in the best solution they can see together – the team is better than the sum of the members.

In that third stage, mutual respect and trust are vital. If one party tries to dominate the goals, visions, and outcomes, the effort breaks down.

Be a leader! Don’t be a manager! Learn the psychology behind this here.

Gain More By Doing Less!

Many people believe they can be more productive by striving to do more.

Most people will gain more by doing less rather than by doing more. The key is to do more of what’s important by doing fewer things.

Most of the many things on a typical day’s to-do list mean very little in the day’s results. They may be enjoyable interludes but not very productive. They can be done in leisure time or not at all with no effect on results.

Such things as checking social media posts or messages, texts, emails, etc. are all unproductive, unless you need information from one of those messages to do something important. Many people get consumed by these tasks during what should be the most productive part of their day. Other pressures can also draw us away from what’s most important. In today’s world, early-morning message-checking is probably the most prevalent.

You can scan your list of messages in a few seconds to see if there’s anything important and urgent in them. Do not open any other messages during your productive day.

Max Phillips posted this article on Medium.com several months ago. It discusses 7 time-wasters low-productivity people engage in. Avoid them!

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

Prioritize ruthlessly. Determine what two or three (no more than three) items will “move the needle” each day. Do those few things first every day. When they’re done, you can work on second-, then third-priority items with whatever time is left.

Brian Tracy’s Eat That Frog! and a quote from Jim Collins emphasize these concepts elegantly.


Brian’s book focuses on the idea of doing the most difficult, least enjoyable task (such as eating a live frog!) first. When you have that done, you can be pretty sure the rest of the day will go easier.

Jim’s quote, “If you have more than three priorities, you don’t have any” needs no explanation.

If you so choose, continue working after the first two to four hours working on high-priority items – just recognize you’ll probably get less done per hour.

Eric Lofholm (see below) promotes the idea of measuring time in results per hour rather than minutes per hour. What you accomplish is much more important than the time you devote to it.

Another of Eric’s important concepts is an idea called “last productive day”. Decide what is the last date you commit to being productive. For him, it’s the day before his 75th birthday. He has an app on his phone that counts down the days, hours, minutes and seconds until that date. Having already passed that time in my life, I’ve settled on the day before my 90th birthday.

The idea behind this concept is that we always have certain knowledge of how long we have to accomplish our life goals. Of course, we can continue working after that date if we so choose. It’s not a prediction of retirement or death. We’re just committing to be optimally productive at least to that date.

A Positive Mindset Makes all the Difference!

My friend, mentor and sales coach, Eric Lofholm, hosts a 15-minute motivational call every business day, and sometimes even on holidays. The call is at 7:45 AM Pacific time. Register for the call here. You’ll find instructions on how to join the call on Facebook, by phone or soon, Eric says, on LinkedIn.

Eric is unique in that his free programs offer solid value rather than just sales hype. This short conversation is serious training, and serious motivation, and it’s completely free of charge. Though there’s sometimes an offer to sign onto a paid program, that’s separate from the training and inspiration.

This call is a great way to get yourself started with a positive mindset every day.

Are You “Backable”?

Have you started a business? Applied for a job? Do you plan any of these?

Have you struggled to find the financial backing you needed to get the business “kicked off?” Many, if not most, entrepreneurs have stumbled on this block.

Alex Sanfilippo, (Creating a Brand podcasts), recently interviewed Suneel Gupta, who talks about his recently published book Backable.

In the beginning of the conversation with Alex, Suneel describes his extensive research. He talked with many well-known people. How did they become “backable”? What’s the unique story they told, or personality trait, that caused people to write a big check?

He says he wrote the book because the question was burning in his mind. He says, “I’m not backable. I look too young. I’m a serious introvert. Etc.” And he wanted funding for his business. He says he felt confident of his qualifications, but he’d been rejected by several prospective employers and investors. So he felt a need to answer this for himself, as well as to impart what he learned to others.

Suneel tells the story of his interview with Jack Dorsey, founder of Square. Again, he felt qualified for the position he was being considered for, but he blew the interview. He believes this happens more than many people would like to admit. It could be in front of prospects, clients, teachers – anywhere one is seeking to demonstrate knowledge, sell something or influence someone else.
From the many ideas in the book, Alex and Suneel select three elements of influence techniques to dig deeper on.

  • Storytelling: Make your story relate to one particular person, ideally someone close to you personally. You may want to expand into the data after you’ve made your point with the personal story. Example: One person in 25 experiences what my friend, my father, or whomever you focused on, experienced. Suneel tells the story of his experience with Groupon as it grew from a small company focused on small customers. It grew, went public, and lost its focus on individuals. H feels that held it back from its full potential.
  • Share an “earned secret”, Explore insights that truly enlighten people about something they probably don’t know – something that’s not “Google-able”. Intoxicate people with your effort!
  • Turn “outsiders into “insiders”. If you come across as someone who has it all figured out and you’re just sharing your knowledge, you keep them on the outside. Pull them into the process of reaching a conclusion. Tell enough of you’re story to make it cohesive, but leave some dots for the listener to connect.

As an example of the third technique, Suneel goes back to the 1940’s and tells the instant cake mix story. Initially the mixes didn’t sell well.- they were so easy to use that the user didn’t feel involved. When they left out an ingredient for the home baker to add (Just stir in an egg and make a beautiful cake!), sales took off! Now the homemaker could be proud of what she created. Before, she felt like she was just “watching something happen.”

When you’re rejected, Suneel advises, pick the refuser’s mind. What could I have done differently to get you to say yes. How can I improve my process. Make sure you do this with a positive approach, not “sour grapes.” If the other person gives you meaningful advice, apply it and come back to let them know they were helpful. You may get accepted, or not – do it anyway!

If you’re seeking funding, applying for a job, or in any way trying to influence someone else’s decision, this interview might provide the “golden nuggets” that help you succeed in your effort. I hope you enjoy it and find it valuable. If it really resonates with you, you may want to buy Suneel’s book as well.

Be Authentic!

Each week, unless I stumble a great idea (I often do!), I search for meaningful content to be the basis of the week’s article. This week I came across several essays related to authenticity. I decided to build on that theme, without pointing to one particular article.

The concept is: Are you, or someone you’ve been admiring, the same person in your private life as your “public” persona? 

I came across some authors who claim to have evidence of inauthenticity in certain famous people. According to these authors, these people with upbeat and positive public images mistreat their employees, their families, or others in their less-public realms.

When you learn of someone whose approaches to her/his family members, employees, friends, clients, and others align perfectly, you’ve found a worthy model for you to respect, study and pattern yourself after. 

With experience, you’ll learn to sense this alignment, or its absence, pretty quickly. If it’s missing, you probably would do well to find a different model. 

If you find fundamental differences between someone’s personas in those different environments, better take a harder look at whether he or she deserves your further attention. 

I came across authors who reported dichotomies in behavior in Elon Musk, Oprah Winfrey, and Jeff Bezos. I know nothing firsthand about any of these personalities, or the authors who undertook to judge them. I advise you to research their private behaviors if you care to dig deeper, and especially if you plan to model them.

In past issues, I’ve held each of these famous people up as examples of leadership and promoters of effective policies. The authors whose articles I pointed to obviously differ in opinion from the authors I’ve recently encountered. If in fact, their personalities are inauthentic, I apologize for holding them up as role models. The behavior I discussed is still a desirable behavior, even if the model I chose doesn’t exemplify it.

A term I’ve recently seen used is “integrous” behavior. Integrous probably isn’t a word in any official dictionary, but it seems to me it ought to be. It nicely encapsulates the theme of today’s premise. Integral has a different connotation. Integrous is used as a descriptor for one with aligned behavior toward all.

Be careful whom you associate with!

Who Helps You Achieve Your Goals?

You may remember my coach and mentor Ben Hardy from a recent issue. In case you didn’t see that issue or don’t remember Ben, I’ll repeat my introduction to him:

Benjamin Hardy holds a Ph.D. in organizational psychology. He’s also the author of Personality Isn’t Permanent and several other books exploring personality change. He knows what he’s talking about!

Ben’s book I’m focusing on today is his latest, WHO NOT HOW, which he co-wrote with Dan Sullivan. Interestingly, Sullivan didn’t write a word of it. Ben was Dan’s “Who”, and Dan was Ben’s “Who”.

You’ll come to understand that distinction as we move along in this discussion. If you read the book, you’ll understand it with crystal clarity. I just finished reading the book, and I find it transformational!

Dan Sullivan, the co-author, is the founder and president of The Strategic Coach Inc. A visionary and a gifted conceptual thinker, Dan has over 40 years of experience as a noted speaker, consultant, strategic planner, and coach to entrepreneurial individuals and groups.

Ben says that, without Dan’s support and coaching, the book wouldn’t exist. Dan says that, without Ben’s dedication and writing, the book wouldn’t exist.

The premise of the book is:

  • Find the person or group that is uniquely able to help you achieve your goals. Trying to figure it out by yourself is inefficient and ineffective.
  • “How” limits you to your own knowledge and capabilities. Who” immediately connects you with different knowledge, insights, and capability.
  • “Who” can immediately free up hundreds of hours, which you can spend in better and more meaningful ways. 
  • Self-expansion is a core human motivation, and it occurs through Whos.

Time Freedom

Procrastination, while it can cause immense frustration and loss of ambition, is actually wisdom. Creative procrastination is saying, “This goal is amazing! But I’m not the one to do everything involved!”

Leadership is having a clear vision, delegating its pursuit to the right “Who” and getting out of the way. Your potential is virtually limitless when you stop asking “How?” and start asking “Who?” Asking “Who?” can create results 10X or even 100X faster than asking “How?”

Money Freedom

Time Creates Money. You can’t have money freedom until you achieve time freedom. Improving how you spend your time automatically improves your ability to make money. Chapter 6 is titled: “If You Have Enough Money to Solve a Problem, You Don’t Have a Problem.”

Adding a Who to a specific area of your life eliminates decision fatigue in that area. Decision fatigue depletes motivation faster than any other kind of fatigue.

Engaging in Hows to avoid costs actually costs you and your future hugely in the long run.Investing in the right Whos is not a cost, It’s an investment that can create transformational relationships. It can quickly 10X or more your income and revenue.

Be a Good “Who” for Others

When you enter a relationship, first create value in that relationship. Keep creating value and nurturing your relationships. Ask “What’s in it for them?” rather than “What’s in it for me?” Know what the other person cares about. Do your homework!

To have Freedom of Relationship, you must intentionally engage with people who align with your vision. Avoid directly working with people who aren’t relevant. As you say no to people and opportunities that don’t align with your vision of your future self, your confidence will increase. Your team will also become more confident in you as a leader.

Your current self no longer tolerates situations and people that your former self tolerated.Your future self will not tolerate situations or people that you now associate with.

Wherever you see brilliant work happening, there’s collaboration. No one has all the answers. It’s wise to consider yourself ignorant on most things and to seek other people’s perspectives and solutions. Avoid over-obsessing about your part of the project. Get feedback fast! Be radically open and honest in your communication. Ask for help when you need it. Ben says he violated that principle himself when he got sick and faltered during his writing!

Focus on Collaboration, not Competition

Focusing on “How” leads you to being isolated in your goals, and ultimately slows your progress. Being isolated in your goals diminishes your dreams.

Competition stunts creative innovation and limits your future. Collaboration allows you to focus on what you want to focus on and feel good about getting help.

Collaboration improves a project. It becomes better and more impactful than you would have created on your own. By expanding your vision, your Freedom of Purpose also expands.

Expand Your Purpose

Through Whos, important miracles and blessings can happen in your life. You can transform and expand your purpose and life through Whos.

Whos help you see potential in your future, and in your work that you can’t presently see alone. You need another’s insight. Whos expand your vision, giving you the confidence to pursue big goals. Your Whos become your purpose.

If these ideas and principles appeal to you, I recommend you read WHO NOT HOW. In any case, have a wonderful week.